It's A.......

 Baby.  We had our ultrasound yesterday and here's a little sneak peak at our 1 pound Cletus. No we didn't find out the sex, we are old school like that.  

I am still trying to figure out how if it only weighs one pound where all these other pounds are coming from.....!  (don't try to tell me it is from the mint truffles and cookies and snacks I consume hourly.)  Everything looked great.  10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 kidneys (important when being born to a urology resident). 

It is fun to actually feel it moving around, giving me a reminder that it's in there.  

 I have found that I am more moody, easily fatigued, and famished with this little one than I ever was with Samantha.  Chris is hoping that it goes away- he finds himself walking on eggshells some days.  

I am 22 weeks now so only 18 more to go, but who's counting?

 We enjoy the "HI" that the tech inserted

This pic's for you Kristin- eat your heart out!  

I figured by 22 weeks it was probably time to take a picture of the growing belly.  Samantha wanted to show her growing belly too.

come on baby with me, we're gonna fly away from here

So a friend of mine posted this on facebook today and I decided, hum, a sad song about a little boy dying from cancer- why wouldn't I listen to it?  I mean 20 weeks of pregnancy hormones got nothing on me. (says the person who is using her over sized pajama shirt to wipe her tears away)

What a beautiful song.  Apparently Taylor Swift wrote this song after reading a mom's blog about her 4 year old son who died of cancer.  It made me think about how often I feel the monotony of motherhood but what a truly amazing, god-given opportunity and blessing it is.

Samantha is my little buddy.  She makes me laugh when she pretends to be blind while eating her lunch or when she waits to see if I am looking and then does something she knows she shouldn't like run into the street.  She leaves me in awe when she memorizes books and replays them with me over and over again.  She makes me want to pull my hair out when she throws her already been chewed food onto my newly mopped floor or when she wipes her grimy, wet hands on my newly washed mirrors and glass doors.  She makes me sad when she falls- even when I have told her that she was about to fall.  She makes me happy when she walks over to me and gives me a kiss and a hug for no reason at all or when I get to wake up to "Ma ma", "ma ma". 

I am no Taylor Swift, so no song will be written, but man am I glad the last 17 months of my life have been blessed by the job of motherhood.

Lock and Key.....

What's that you ask?  Oh, its just our key in our front door.  Let me explain.

The day after Samantha and I got home we were outside playing.  Our backyard flooded while we were gone so I was sweeping off the patio.  We moved to sweep off the front porch and Samantha was hitting the front door trying to get inside.  I tried to explain to her that it was locked and then looked up and realized that the key was right there in front of me. 

My first thought was, "how long has that been there?", my second, "what was Chris thinking?"

I promptly called Chris to investigate the matter.  Turns out it had been there almost the entire time I had been out of town.  He couldn't believe that he had left it there all that time.  How lucky are we that all of our possessions never got taken?  Our front door is on the side of our house so you can't see the front door from the street.  That might have been what saved us.  

I told him that I was going to start calling him Colleen (my mom did a similar thing when she came out for Samantha's birth in St Louis, but only left the key over night in the lock- a bit better than 3 1/2 weeks!)  He felt so bad.
So what could lead a really responsible guy to do such a thing.

This week, I was reminded of the insane schedule he keeps.  The following is so I NEVER forget what residency was really like or feel sorry for myself that I have it bad, keeping in mind that he keeps telling me "this is the easier rotation".  

Alarm goes off between 5 and 5:30 am.  Leaves for work.  Comes home between 7:30 and 9 pm.  Talks to me, eats a bite, changes his clothes and then proceeds to do patient notes, dictations, or reading for a surgery the next day or journal club.  Comes to bed around 11.  Every other night he is on call so then you get the awesome pages at random hours.  Like Tuesday night, one at 2 am, then 10 minutes later, then 15 minutes later.  

So I guess it's pretty clear to me how the key got left in the door...but I'm still not going to let him forget it!

The grass is always greener....

in Utah.  For 3 1/2 weeks we didn't have to set eye on a cactus or play with rocks or retreat to the pool.  Samantha discovered the joy of the feel of real grass under her feet. We played with cousins and attacked my aunts cat more times than I can count.

 We joined all the other Chick-fil-a fans (and some amazingly fun friends) in dressing like cows to get some free grub.

 

 We celebrated the great city of Farmington during the festival days

 Samantha was a huge fan of waving the flag and dancing in the street (she get's that from her grandma)

 I learned that my fearless daughter, the one who climbs walls and tries to go home with complete strangers, is afraid of giant inflatables!  We went with Joselyn to Kangaroo Zoo and Samantha started to scream the minute I tried to set her in one of them.  It was hilarious.

 After about an hour of trying various tactics, she finally decided that it wasn't so bad and had some fun.

 Chris got to join us for about 36 hours for Kylee's wedding.  Samantha wanted nothing to do with anyone else once he showed up.  I didn't blame her, he's pretty great.  After almost a month apart I told him that it reminded me how much I need him.  Not just as a co-parent, but as a companion for me.

 Let's not forget when my dad ripped the crotch of his suit on the way to the luncheon when he was getting into his truck.  He is one classy guy.

 I realize now that I didn't even get one picture of the happy couple, so here is one with Kylee and her friend.  Doesn't she look beautiful?

 The reception was spent chasing Samantha around and trying to keep her from tripping all over her dress.  Apparently shoes are way over rated.  Even when they are brand new and purchased specifically for the event.

It was a great vacation.  Honestly, the best part was seeing Samantha form relationships with her grandparents and cousins.  The minute she saw my mom she ran up to her and gave her a huge hug.  We are going to miss all the family get-togethers, being cooked for and pampered, and always having someone to play with.

The worst part of the trip was the 4 HOUR layover in the Vegas airport yesterday.  I almost have that airport memorized now.  Samantha made lots of friends and perfected the art of gambling.....After 9 1/2 hours of traveling, I am ready for another vacation!

Why the 2 month hiatus?

My mom said to me on the phone about a month ago, "you realize you haven't updated your blog in awhile right?".  I am pretty sure she had woken me up from my 2nd nap of the day too.  Little did she know, there was a pretty good reason for that.  It's pictured above.  I am 15 weeks now and finally feeling mostly like myself again.  No more waking up in the morning huddled up over the toilet or asking Chris in the middle of the night to help me think of something other than food.  No more wandering around in a zombie like state wondering how in the world I could possibly do even one load of laundry or manage to sweep my floor.

During the past month, Samantha turned 15, then 16 months and really began to push my buttons as I lay on the couch in my half-alive state.  She discovered that she could open the fridge, climb up onto the kitchen table, and flush the toilet all by herself.   Man, I sure am glad she survived, and me too for that matter.

Chris asked me at about week 7 (when I was crying over commercials and avoiding all his kisses and running from the kitchen whenever food appeared), "So remind me again how many weeks you are going to be like this?"   Yeah, he is really supportive like that.  He is also lovingly referring to the above pictured as Cletus the Fetus.  Don't worry, that name won't stick after birth. At least I hope it won't or this kid will be scarred for life!  Yeah for 2nd trimester!!!

Take her to nursery, Part II

I thought last week was fun, but yesterday was even better.  I took Samantha out into the hall to she if she would fall asleep at the beginning of sunday school.  After about 5-10 minutes it was apparent that she was not going to sleep, so we headed back to class.  The door was open and who was sitting right there, the same sister as mentioned in the last post. The minute she saw us she replied, "take her down the hall to nursery, I can't take it anymore."

I scooped Sam up, promptly shut the door and went outside.

Luckily our lesson in relief society was on President Uchtdorf's talk from conference about not taking offense and not holding grudges.  Here is a piece from it:

This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed?

To watch it, go here http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng

I slowly felt my anger slipping away.  I think the Lord works like that.  He knows what we need to hear and let's the spirit touch our hearts.

A sweet friend pulled me aside between classes and assured me this is not her first offence and that a similar thing happened with her son before he went to nursery.  She also said, "at least she has a personality and isn't just a bump on a log".  I started thinking about that and I agree. I love that she is social and funny and that she makes people smile.  Several other people also assured me that I should just ignore the comments made.

I was starting to feel like Sunday's were monotonous, now I just never know what might happen.

Take her to nursery.....

So I wanted to share a moment from church on Sunday that I can laugh about now, but had me in tears.

I will be the first to admit that Samantha is not reverent.  She is only 13 months.  I don't expect her to be.  On top of her age, she is really mobile and has been for sometime and she is a social butterfly. She will go up to anyone, anywhere and she thinks they are her new best friend. She isn't really loud (unless you try to stop her from doing something) but she likes to wander quietly during Sunday School and Relief Society. At the beginning of Sunday School, we were sitting in the back row (for a quick escape when necessary) when Sister Minch walked by with her walker and said to me, "Take her to nursery."  I laughed and said, "I wish I could, but they won't let me, she isn't old enough."  She then repeated, "take her to nursery".  Wow.  Slap in the face.

I don't know why it made me so mad and hurt.  I mean, this dear sister has told me that the headbands I let Samantha wear cut off her brain circulation and that I need to put her in socks and I need to make sure I burp her properly so why did this get to me?

I guess it is because I do church alone about 75% of the time and I do the best I can.  I really try to attend as much of class as I can because I don't go to church to spend 3 hours in the hall.  I never stay in class if she is really disrupting things, but of course there are occasional squeals and piano playing and chair clanging....

At the end of every Sunday I just say to myself, 5 more months, only 5 more months.....