Maybe it's not so bad...

What a ride this last month has been. It's hard to put into words the disappointment and feelings of helplessness I had on January 24th when I found out I didn't match. I had heard how unpleasant and devastating it can be to not match and have to scramble, and I would have to agree with those descriptions. I think the worst part was just the feeling of being in limbo, and not really being able to do much about it. So lets just say that it was a pretty bad week for Linzi and me.

However, I must have had someone looking out for me, because soon after I got the news that I hadn't matched I was contacted by the University of Arizona who told me that they had a second urology position that they fill outside of the match, and that they would like me to come down to Tucson for a few weeks to "try out" for the spot (it was basically a sub-i, with only the next five years riding on my ability to get along with the residents and attendings and prove that I would be a capable resident). So I got everything set up, dropped what I was doing in St. Louis and was down in Tucson the following Monday.

My dad was great and flew out to St. Louis to drive with me down to Tucson. It was great to spend some time with him and was definitely nice to have someone else with me on the long trip. I worked harder down there than on any other rotation during med school. The craziness was compounded by the fact that the service was being run by two second years and an intern (due to some problems with the senior resident). It was very busy, but I really enjoyed the faculty I worked with as well as the residents.

I was given the impression that the spot was mine to lose. It wasn't going to be a cut-throat battle between 3-4 students as I had originally feared. I don't think I would have fared to well in that type of atmosphere. And as it turns out, I did not lose the spot. During my last week there the residency director talked with me and informed me that the spot was mine if I still wanted it. I practically skipped down the halls afterwards! I was also told that the general surgery department reserves spots for intern year for those students that match into urology. So I don't have to worry about moving somewhere for a year and then going down to Tucson. We'll move down there in a couple of months and be there for 5 years.

It was a very hard month for us. Not matching sucked. Leaving Linzi with little warning during her third trimester for 3 weeks was very hard for both of us. I don't know why it had to work out this way for us. I don't see the downside to have just matched with a program on match day, but I'm sure there's something to learn from this. I know this experience was a test of my faith, and allowed me to stretch my faith in ways that I haven't had to for some time. As painful as it might have been, I'm thankful for that. I'm also grateful to have experienced incredible kindness from complete strangers. I had inquired about cheap lodging before I went down there, and one of the residents (who is LDS) called me up and told me that I would be able to stay with his parents for part of the time (who were just recovering from a house fire but were still willing to let me stay in their house) and his parent's bishop for the rest. Both of these families treated me as if I were family, cooking me dinner, taking me out to eat with their family, letting me come to their Super Bowl party...it was very touching how generous they were to a complete stranger. And it was humbling to be on the receiving end of their kindness.

So everything seems to be falling into place for us. We are excited to be moving down to Tucson (and sad at the same time to be leaving St. Louis), and feel incredibly blessed that this opportunity presented itself to us. Another positive from this whole event was that I got to see our families for a short time over the weekend. Linzi had flown back to Utah for a baby shower (thank you so much everyone for what you gave Squishy). I finished my rotation early on Friday, and decided to drive up to Utah that night to surprise Linzi (rather than drive up Saturday as I had been planning). I felt bad because I kind of had to lie to her throughout the day to make her believe that I wasn't going to leave until Saturday, but it was very fun to surprise her at her parent's house when I got there. I then got to hang out with our families on Saturday before driving back on Sunday/Monday. For some crazy reason Linzi thought that it would be fun to drive back with me while she was almost 34 weeks along. But it was great to have her with me...the drive was exponentially better than it would have been. I hope she enjoyed it as much as I did.

Anyhoo, that's enough for one post. Thank you all for all your thoughts, prayers, and encouraging words. They definitely helped.

Thanks to Doddsy cards for the artwork gracing these recent posts. I hope that it does not constitute a copyright infringement that I have used them without prior expressed written consent.